Leadership - Loneliness at the top part 1
Loneliness at the top part 1
Reliance
When you are in a leadership position you are ‘on your own’ to a large degree. People will rely on you to make decisions on their behalf. People are expecting you to lead to their benefit. In the main no one will worry what you go through to reach these decisions.
It can definitely be lonely at the top. This applies to all positions of leadership no matter at what level. The loneliness factor can appear in other areas. If you find you poor performance leads to negative feedback from your Superiors and your position can then become even lonelier. Politicians will feel isolated by the constant attention of the media and being in the spotlight.
Negative affects
Different people will handle the lonely aspect of leadership in differing ways. If you have no one to share your fears and anxieties you may cope by exhibiting negative behaviours when the pressure at the top gets too much.
Some people will get mildly depressed, reliant on drugs, become involved with money problems leading to a deterioration in performance. This may end with the loss of their job. Others try to nurture relationships amongst the staff on a professional basis that may not be entirely useful.
Leaders may try to compromise because they don’t want to upset individuals. They end up making decisions that may be less than rational. They will tend to avoid confrontations especially where performances measures are concerned.
Self analysis
Like many problems in leadership the first stage is to recognise that ‘loneliness’ does exist. The next stage is to recognise the signs and symptoms and do something about it before it is too late.
Some of these might be.
- Feelings of attrition from people where decisions have been poorly received.
- Knowledge that you acquire from your position that you can not share.
- Others have personal values that are distinct from your own.
- You feel you are working long hours with little help.
- Your energy levels are noticeably reduced.
Once you know that you are experiencing loneliness you may need help to cope with the strains. The main tenet of leadership is ‘know thyself’.
The escape from loneliness is a small part of satisfying a varied number of needs. It is important to consider your needs because you will have fundamental desire to meet them. If you are unsure as to your needs you may latch on to possible solutions which turn out to be misleading. If a solution is poor this can exacerbate your loneliness, if good, it should help to improve the situation.
Some of these needs might be.
- Love
- Security
- Friendships
- Physical health
- Mental health
- Recognition
If you have a basic need you will need input from another to meet this need. If you can not find an appropriate source to meet that need the loneliness will continue or get worse.
In some cases you may find that you just do not fit into the group pattern. You may be an introvert amongst extroverts or vice versa. You may think logically as opposed to being more creative in you thought patterns.
You may have been used to working in an open environment which then changes for another organisation. These aspects may make you feel out of place and lonely.
Meeting your needs
You may find one very wise and experienced person who you can lean on to help you through the problems of Loneliness. However, this may help you but be particularly draining of energy for that person. It is important to try to develop a pool of reliable helpers.
Being a leader required learning many skill sets any of which can bring you concern. There are two key areas which you might wish to consider for help. One is to focus on particular business needs.
- General business issues
- Legal aspects
- Personnel issues
- Finance issues
- Confidence issues
For each of these areas for which you may have a concern try to find a reliable person that can act as a mentor or coach. The mentor is a source of specialist knowledge and experience who can be consulted about particular issues. The coach is someone with the experience to help you through areas of your job by encouraging you with probing questions on how you might proceed. The aim is for you to learn by thinking through the problem rather than just being told a solution.
Another approach is to consider the type of personalities that surround you. If you can tap into their experience then you may be in a position to remedy many problems before they arise. For example.
- Mentor
- Coach
- Friend
- Professional therapist
- Business specialist
Any of these could also give you feedback on your performance but you may need to consider a specific individual with knowledge of the role who will give an honest appraisal.
Retaining links
Naturally, the world does not stand still and any relationships that you build to help you review and satisfy your needs will change. If you can keep in contact do so.
Review your list at intervals and add as many people to it as you need to keep your leadership credentials in tact without all of the potential negative aspects.
Simple steps
Look at all of the needs or issues that give you major concern and pick one.
Next decide where you would like to be, what is your goal?
Consider all sides of the problem. Look more deeply into the issue for underlying causes. What solutions have you already considered? What solutions have you already tried? What do you believe is the primary problem?
Brainstorm other potential solutions using traditional techniques. For these brainstorm possible options.
Consider all of the options and implement the best. You may need to implement more than one option. The best option is the one that will most closely match your goal.